I can’t resist saying facetiously that it takes a lifetime to become an IHM. No IHM is a finished product. Each of us is constantly being called anew to deeper and more genuine living of IHM life. But what about persons just thinking of religious life as an IHM sister?
Although there are some standard steps for all persons pursuing vowed religious life as an IHM, each person’s process is particular to her. Here are the broad strokes:
- You begin your exploration by talking with the Vocation Director about your journey. She will listen with you to how God is calling you. Then you will need to get to know us (to hang out with us) to see if our values, our spirit are a fit for you, so the Vocation director will invite you to IHM events and provide opportunities to meet small groups of sisters informally. Throughout your time of exploration she will walk with you and help you listen to what God is saying through your life.
- After your inquiry you submit a written application and then interview with the Admissions Board. Board members prayerfully discern your readiness and aptitude for membership and approve you for candidacy.
- After you have been accepted as a candidate you spend the first year of formation continuing to support yourself, but meeting regularly with the Candidate Director, getting to know more sisters, coming to community activities, and continuing vocation discernment through prayer and spiritual direction. As the year progresses you will move into an IHM house and begin living in community.
- Two years of novitiate follow. The first year is more contemplative, with emphasis on prayer, personal growth, theological studies, learning the history and culture of the community, and getting to know the elder members through volunteer service. The second year, the ministerial year, is a time to explore and prepare for future ministry as a vowed member.
- The novitiate ends with the first profession of vows. For three years, you live as a vowed religious. with full accountability as a member. This time of preparation and insight culminates in final vows. And then, like all of us, you continue each day to become a fuller, more genuine IHM.
this note really touches me i am considering vocation life.
Thanks, Mary Cornelius. I’ll keep you in prayer as you discern.
Sr. Mary Bea
Hello,
My twin sister is considering becoming a nun, and there is a plethora of amazing information, like your blog, for those discerning a vocation to the religious life. I was wondering if there is any website geared toward the family members of someone discerning?
Thank you!
Dear Michelle,
Great question! I don’t know of a resource for syblings of discerners, but we could start one right here. I bet there are others like you who could benefit from some sharing about their sisters’ vocation quest. As a twin you certainly have an additional challenge. Can I guess that you’re very close? I’d just like to say that you won’t lose your sister. Some communities might still have strict rules about contact with family, but in the IHM community and many others contact with family and friends both by phone and in person is just taken for granted. Can you put your finger on what you’re wondering about and what kind of resource would be helpful for you? Other readers, can you help out?
I think that now some of my questions have been answered, but what I previously was burning to know about was how often I’d be able to communicate with her, not many websites openly discussed this (although yours did, thank you). But, there are some questions that have not been answered:
• I’ve always known my sister by her birth name, what is the approach that most places take when it comes to the family? Are we to try our best to call her by her new name or is it okay if we still call her by her birth name?
• Will she get health insurance and life insurance? If she has a serious medical need that pops up while at the convent, will she be able to receive prompt and adequate medical care? (She plans on not being cloistered).
• I want to thank you profoundly for understanding the difficulty that my sister and I are going through in terms of the future, not many understand the closeness of our relationship. We are the best of friends, and I’m having a hard time imagining losing that closeness. Yes, I’ll still get to see her, but I’m afraid that we will no longer be best friends, that she’ll have readymade best friends in her convent and I will have to find another person to be my confidant. Yet even if she didn’t want to become a nun I think this is something that I would still struggle with. Obviously this isn’t something that you can easily answer, but I’m telling you this so that you know what my biggest fear is, and maybe others can relate.
• There are all of these great opportunities for the discerning to go on retreats with the particular order they are looking at, would it be okay if I went just to truly get a feel for where my sister will be spending the rest of her life? Are there any open houses or retreats for the discerning and their families? I think that would help quell the fear and get many questions answered as well as help the families to truly taste what their daughter’s life will be like and to work out any lingering issues that need to be addressed.
Thank you for taking the time to answer all of my questions, I appreciate your dedication to this website, it has really been a blessing for me!
Michelle
I was looking out for a website of this kind, and am very happy to find this one
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I am considering vocation life , please keep me in your prayers. I am asking many questions to myself so that I can make sure that I am taking the right decision. Please help me withyour prayers. I am in India and working currently.
Dear Treza,
I will certainly keep you in my prayer. I keep the names of persons I want to remember specially on post-it notes on the front of my computer. You are in a sacred place when you discern a vocation to religious life. No matter where you will be led you are certainly being called into deeper relationship with God.
Thanks a lot sister.
Thank you for such a great resource for ladies like myself strongly considering religious life.